Friday, November 2, 2012

celebratory guilt trip

Yesterday was super SUPER stressful. I had to turn in my thesis, get signatures from committee members, print out transcripts, check on requirements, ahhh! After everything, I got the darn thing checked in and done! I will officially be graduated in December. YAY! (well, I still have to defend my thesis)

This morning I slept in and went on a easy 9 mile run. During my run, I realized that technically I don't have any work to do in the lab, plus I'm not employeed anymore so I don't have that responsibility to go in everyday. I have been  "volunteering" and finishing up my experiments for the last few months, so there is really no reason for me to go in anymore, right?

That revelation lead to a major guilt trip- "what if they need my help", "technically, I am available" "what am I going to do with my day", " I need to feel useful",  "maybe I can still contribute my time", "part time", " I dont' want to let anyone down"........

I feel bad because I'm not doing anything, I could help but at the same time I need to focus on my deal. The whole point of graduating this semester was so that I could work and save money for pharmacy school. I guess I should celebrate the fact that my time in that lab is over and I should start looking for a job.

I am just such a damn people pleaser, and I feel guilty about not being there anymore especially since I don't have anything lined up yet.....

Anyway, my back hurts a little more today so I went to the clinic on campus. The Dr. said it was probably a muscle thing and I should take some aspirin and stop being so dramatic.

Any weekend plans?

Do you feel guilty over not doing stuff- How do you get over that and fell ok about your decision?

How do you celebrate meeting a deadline or something big, like turining in your thesis? I need tips.

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